I have been finding gratitude hard to come by lately. Negativity is dragging me down and where once I was easily able to find the silver lining of every cloud, right now the clouds just seem to gather more threateningly, getting darker and heavier. Small difficulties spiral into mountainous obstacles.
Like dinner. Dinner. Every. Night.
What will I cook?
Have I got what I need?
Will the kiddo eat it?
Will the baby eat it?
Will it be healthy?
This week a simple, daily task became completely overwhelming and suddenly I saw before me years and years and years of the same drudgery night after night. And it completely freaked me out. Which (of course!) started me thinking that if I can’t even manage getting dinner on the table, if I can’t feed my family without crisis and dragging my feet and moaning about it, then maybe I’m not meant to be a mother at all.
You see how it goes? From ‘What’s for dinner’ to ‘I should never have become a mother’. Quite a leap, huh?
Tell me you’ve had moments like this too. Please.
So. The silver lining. I did find it eventually. I got dinner sorted. On the second try I served up a lamb roast for my family, and they all gobbled it up. Then I turned the failed first attempt into Shepherd’s Pie and more gobbling followed. As we sat and ate from plates filled with delicious, fresh, home-cooked food, gratitude suddenly slapped me in the face. Hard.
I’m grateful for food on my table. For my kid’s full bellies. For my overflowing fridge and pantry. Because some people, LOTS of people, have nothing to eat. And that’s a lot to be grateful for.
In other news, I’m also grateful for all of you who’ve been playing along with 52 Weeks of Grateful while I’ve been hosting it. I’m going to continue sharing my gratitude here on the blog and using the #52weeksofgrateful, but I’m going to retire the linky. I’m overwhelmed with … everything… lately and managing a linky, even a teeny weeny one like this one, is a bit too much for me. I know that you’ll understand.
I do hope that you’ll continue to share your gratitude by posting on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram using the hashtag #52weeksofgrateful or by commenting on my blog posts.
Are you feeling overwhelmed right now? Or are the silver linings shining bright and clear for you?