Food on the table

Cloud Cushion available from Tabitha and Hugo
Cloud Cushion available from Tabitha and Hugo {click to buy}

I have been finding gratitude hard to come by lately. Negativity is dragging me down and where once I was easily able to find the silver lining of every cloud, right now the clouds just seem to gather more threateningly, getting darker and heavier. Small difficulties spiral into mountainous obstacles.

Like dinner. Dinner. Every. Night.

What will I cook?

Have I got what I need?

Will the kiddo eat it?

Will the baby eat it?

Will it be healthy?

This week a simple, daily task became completely overwhelming and suddenly I saw before me years and years and years of the same drudgery night after night. And it completely freaked me out. Which (of course!) started me thinking that if I can’t even manage getting dinner on the table, if I can’t feed my family without crisis and dragging my feet and moaning about it, then maybe I’m not meant to be a mother at all.

You see how it goes? From ‘What’s for dinner’ to ‘I should never have become a mother’. Quite a leap, huh?

Tell me you’ve had moments like this too. Please.

So. The silver lining. I did find it eventually. I got dinner sorted. On the second try I served up a lamb roast for my family, and they all gobbled it up. Then I turned the failed first attempt into Shepherd’s Pie and more gobbling followed. As we sat and ate from plates filled with delicious, fresh, home-cooked food, gratitude suddenly slapped me in the face. Hard.

I’m grateful for food on my table. For my kid’s full bellies. For my overflowing fridge and pantry. Because some people, LOTS of people, have nothing to eat. And that’s a lot to be grateful for.

In other news, I’m also grateful for all of you who’ve been playing along with 52 Weeks of Grateful while I’ve been hosting it. I’m going to continue sharing my gratitude here on the blog and using the #52weeksofgrateful, but I’m going to retire the linky. I’m overwhelmed with … everything… lately and managing a linky, even a teeny weeny one like this one, is a bit too much for me. I know that you’ll understand.

I do hope that you’ll continue to share your gratitude by posting on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram using the hashtag #52weeksofgrateful or by commenting on my blog posts.

Are you feeling overwhelmed right now? Or are the silver linings shining bright and clear for you?

12 Replies to “Food on the table”

  1. Really beautiful Kylie. I know that headspace and then the sudden realisation that the thing you are complaining about is actually something many many people would happily switch places for in a heart beat.

    Take care of yourself beautiful girl. Smile and cuddle those babies tight. xx

  2. I know that dinner problem! A few months ago I started subscribing to “nomoretogo” which is a meal planning website, it’s got a bit of a south USA flavour, but I’m finding it works for me and my fam and I love not having to think about what’s for dinner! I’m not affiliated in any way, but maybe something like that could help?

  3. I’m so with you on this one! I don’t even like cooking and yet I am now responsible for dinner every night for a family of five where everyone seems to like different things! I’m very impressed with your roast lamb solution, mine is usually takeaway ;)

    1. I’m lucky I like cooking – I can’t even imagine facing this every day without enjoying it a bit. Although cooking for my fuss pot has stolen the joy of it a little bit. I miss cooking with lots of flavours and spices. She’s a plain girl.

  4. Hey Hon.

    Yes – every mothers predicament – what to have for dinner that will be eaten, is healthy, won’t be wasted and actually tastes good. I’m tearing my hair out with boredom of the SAME meals EVERY week.

    Sorry to hear you are still having some down days. My offer is still there to make you some meals – it is ok to say yes and i honestly don’t mind. I’ll just make double the amount! Also sticking my hand up for a babysitting overnighter for you – happy to take the little tyke off of your hands for a night hon – give you a decent nights sleep.

    You are right. These days we certainly do have a lot to be grateful for. Even in your darkest periods, there is and will always be someone worse off than you – but that sometimes doesn’t help much when you are in that moment. And its ok to feel like that. I’m relieved that you can talk about it and let people in. not bottle it up inside.

    Hugs to you and yours. I’m hear if you need – all you have to do is say the word and i’ll help in whatever capacity you need me to. love you. willing to help you. willing to listen. willing to be cried on. just willing…. xxxxxxx

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